Coma Dreams - an excerpt from my book “Remember”
By Sara Murray
12/11/2024
The following is an excerpt from a chapter of my first book “Remember,” which is going to be released later this month on Amazon. The book is a collection of personal stories from my life, vulnerable shares, trip reports, spiritual teachings and life lessons that have helped me remember who I am, again and again, and reconnect with my soul and universal truths. I share in detail about my near death experience, the spiritual awakening that unfolded after I left the hospital, and how my purpose was seeded in my childhood through my passions and bizarre interests.
The book is for all kinds of people, from all walks of life, who want to hear stories from my crazy, wild, multidimensional life, and who are interested in expanding their minds beyond the mundane, normal reality many of us have been living for generations. The stories shared will for sure inspire you to expand out of your comfort zone and live a magical life, no matter who you are or what your past entailed.
The book will be available soon - but for now, enjoy this excerpt from Chapter 7 in my book, “Remember.”
Chapter 7 - Coma Dreams
My near death experience changed my life forever overnight. I was severely burned on more than half my body and spent months in the hospital journeying between life, death and transcendental experiences. I experienced things I didn't think were possible, which laid the foundation that lead me to discover many truths hidden behind the illusions of human society later on. This began a catalyzing period of spiritual awakening for me, where I found myself fighting for my life, questioning everything and navigating a totally new reality.
On the physical side of things, my body was being tended to at one of the best hospitals in the world for burn care - Mass General Hospital in Boston, MA. I had 3rd and 2nd degree burns on 57% of my body, and was put into a medically induced coma for 10 days so my team of doctors could tend to my badly burned body, and so I did not die from the intensity of the initial experience.
I was also put into a plastic bubble, so infections and viruses could not spread to me and to keep my environment warm. At this time, my skin was being prepped for skin grafts and weekly surgeries I would be having in the future.
During my coma I astral traveled, had strange prophetic “dreams”, and communicated with beings in other dimensions, through a series of what I’ve always called “coma dreams”. In these dreams, much of what I was experiencing was very dream-like - not linear, very abstract and not making much sense some of the time. Some of what I was dreaming was being projected from physical reality - sort of like when you fall asleep with the tv on, and wake up to find you were dreaming about what was happening on tv - which reveals that people can hear you, on some level, when they are asleep or in a coma. Many of the dreams didn’t start to make sense to me until years later, revealing a prophetic and synchronistic nature to much of what I was dreaming about in this coma state.
I am not sure the exact linear order of these dreams, but I have been able to realize which ones came first and which came towards the end of the coma due to the nature of the dreams. Although I do still have a vivid remembrance of the content of these dreams, there are some spotty areas because I have never written them down until now, so over the past 7 years I may have forgotten some aspects, but the core elements of the dreams are there.
The first dream I remember was in the back of an ambulance, but it was not your typical ambulance. It was parked in the back of a hospital parking lot, which turned out to be the actual receiving bay for emergency ambulances at Mass General (also known as MGH) which I was able to confirm years later. I was laying in the center of this ambulance, which had a padded floor that reminded me of the floor of a bouncy house. I had blankets on me, and was unable to talk or interact with the people around me. With me in the ambulance were some teenagers who appeared to be some sort of nursing staff. They seemed to be my age or younger, like they were apprentices and not very experienced. I remember feeling very confused at what was going on around me, and why the nurses kept coming in and out of the ambulance holding beers and paperwork - such a strange combination - and leaving me alone for extended periods of time. They would come in, check on me, talk amongst themselves and then leave. I remember them mentioning something about a party going on, and that they were coming to and from the party somewhere near the ambulance to check on me. So, I had a bunch of partying teenagers tending to me in this ambulance, and I was unable to speak up or ask questions. What the heck was going on?
The coma dreams would blend from one dream to another, sometimes making sense but most times I would just transition to a new area and a new dream would begin, much like when environments and situations change in our nightly dreams. We can be on a beach, then on a mountain, then in our living room, then in school, seamlessly transitioning from scene to scene. It was very much like this. During these dreams, I had no idea I was “dreaming,” which resulted in a lot of the confusion and frustration I felt during multiple points in the dreams. I was unaware I was in a hospital, that Sam was dead, or that my body had been permanently altered - but, there was a part of me that knew on some level that this was not reality, that there was something strange going on here, although I could not pinpoint what exactly it was. I was witnessing these dreams from the level of my ego, who was very confused and unaware that I was in an entirely different realm, separate yet connected in some ways to the physical Earthly plane.
In the next dream, I had left the ambulance and was now in a room that was cluttered with furniture and people I did not consciously know, but that I recognized. I was with Sam, we were sitting together on a small armchair hugging each other from the side. This visual reminds me of little 6th graders in their first relationship - how they awkwardly hug each other from the side while not looking at each other. Surrounding us were a bunch of people - some I recognized, and some I did not. People were talking, but not verbally or at least in ways that could not be “heard” audibly… possibly communicating through telepathy. I remember seeing mostly music artists, and some random items in the room like a motorcycle helmet, modern furniture, a guitar, piano and microphone.
One person I remember seeing clearly is quite oofy - I saw Biggie Smalls across the room - and I remember pointing him out to Sam because he was a huge fan of his music. Sam was very somber and sad in this dream, and I was trying to cheer him up a bit by pointing out Biggie. Wild stuff. I was chillin with Biggie’s spirit in a coma dream.
I also remember seeing some rock artists in the room, people with long black hair and gothic aesthetics, people holding guitars and drum sticks, and although I don’t consciously remember who they were now I remember knowing who they were in the dream, again telepathically. This room we were all sitting in was a sort of waiting room, and at one point Sam was called and had to leave me. He was very sad to leave me, and I didn’t understand why, not realizing we were parting ways. I was trying to hype him up and make him smile, saying he gets to be with Biggie and all these musicians he loved who were also in the room. Sam was called into this sort of examining room or backroom, where I couldn’t see him, and I stayed sitting in the arm chair holding the motorcycle helmet.
This was when an indigenous woman - with long black hair, tan skin and thin features, probably in her late 30s or 40s - and a younger indigenous man who resembled a warrior type archetype - with tribal makeup on his face and arms, tanner skin, a leafy skirt for clothes and wearing colorful feathers in his hair, on his skirt and around his wrists - approached me. I started to panic, because they were trying to do something to me that I did not understand and was very resistant to. I remember running all over the waiting room, hiding behind chairs and under tables. The room morphed to look more like a smoke shop, or I left the waiting room and entered an adjacent room, and in this new room there were glass cases everywhere much like a smoke shop or glass shop. They chased me around, and finally got me. The woman held me down, I was fighting as hard as I could trying to get away, and the feathered man held up a long, wooden, carved pipe or tube to my mouth, which I was again fighting. I was moving my face from side to side trying to prevent the tube from entering my mouth. I feel like this tube scenario was symbolic of the breathing tube being put down my throat in the hospital when I was being intubated.
They finally held me down enough and blew a bright green pill through the tube, which sucked me through a portal and brought me to an entirely new environment and new dream. This reminded me of when you do DMT and are instantly transported to another realm, often feeling and looking like you are sucked through a portal. The tube they used very much reminded me of the tools many people use for Rapé, a sacred tobacco snuff that is blown through a tube up your nose.
This was not my first encounter with these people - they would follow me through the dreams, and every time they appeared I would try to escape, hide or run away from them. This is so fascinating to me because I had no real surface level knowledge of indigenous cultures or practices at that time, not developing a passion for shamanism until recent years. I was very scared of these people in the dream, unaware if they were trying to help or hurt me with this bright green pill they were blowing down my throat. I remember how uncomfortable it felt - which could also resemble the uncomfortable intubation processes I was going through on the Earth plane.
After I was transported through the portal to another dream scenario, I was floating in the air above a river I recognized from real life that was near Jerusalem Road in Cohasset. I floated down to the shore of the river, behind a 7 eleven we would go to a lot that previous summer, where I became stuck on the shore. As I was floating in the air all I could do was see things - I couldn’t speak or move - and I remember feeling helpless, weak and sad as I was laying there, even though I don’t remember really “laying down” or sitting or anything, I was paralyzed and just “there” on the shore of this river, near a bridge that was next to the 7 eleven. I don’t know how much time passed, but at one point a biker gang pulled into the 7 eleven parking lot, which was next to the river, higher up above the shore on a bit of a hill.
This biker gang kidnapped me - they collected me from the shore, and took me away on the back of one of their bikes. I remember being on the back of the bike, driving through some towns, being unable to move or speak still. We arrived at another parking lot, where I ended up in the back of a car, which was a red sedan of some sort. I remember feeling trapped, enslaved, They continued driving, with a few guys in the front seat and one in the back with me, making sure I couldn’t escape. We pulled off the highway at one point to a Dunkin Donuts parking lot that I remember knowing was in Andover, MA, the town my good friend Jake from Salem State lived in. The biker gang went into the Dunkin Donuts, leaving me alone in the car with the windows cracked. I began frantically calling Jake, suddenly having a phone and being able to move, telling him I was kidnapped and was at Dunkin Donuts in Andover, and that he needed to come rescue me. I don’t remember if he ever answered the phone or if I just left voicemails, but I remember how frantic I was repeatedly calling him hoping he would be able to rescue me. I told him where in Andover the Dunks was, and then somehow I was able to escape as the biker gang was coming out.
I ran away, and I remember the biker gang came chasing after me, but somehow I was saved and they were unable to get me… I don’t remember the exact details, just that I was able to get away even though they were chasing after me. I don’t remember the linearity of what happened next, but there was another dream I had where I was kidnapped - in this one, it was by a corrupt doctor who worked for some dark, occult company that was doing genetic research and manipulation on humans, very much resembling the “illuminati” or shadow government projects on Earth. I was in a hospital, laying in a bed when a woman nurse came into my room and started wheeling me away all sneaky like. I could tell she worked for this shadow company, and was kidnapping me, taking me away to do experiments on me and cause me harm. This is so interesting because I had never heard of the Illuminati before, had no idea about dark government projects or the occult shadow government that exists on planet Earth at this time. I had no clue these things existed - but I was dreaming about themes that related to these negative organizations, and years later I would fall in love with researching these concepts.
This nurse wheeled my hospital bed out of the hospital, and onto a highway, where she pushed me into a building that resembled a prostitution ring and something like a cloning or genetic manipulation lab. I remembered seeing prostitutes walking around naked, and going in and out of rooms where there were cloning tanks and all this advanced technology being used to genetically manipulate and alter human beings at the DNA level. This again blows my mind because I had no idea any of these things existed, barely knowing prostitution rings existed at that time. I remember feeling horrified that I was in this building, and had a deeply unsettling feeling within me that there was something very wrong and unsettling about this building, that very dark and unnatural things were going on within these walls.
The evil nurse who kidnapped me was mean and harsh to me, having a very demonic energy, not caring about my wellbeing and just following orders from the evil doctors that worked in this building. She put me in a hallway, still in my hospital bed, and left to go prepare a room for whatever the heck they were about to do to me. It was then that I was able to escape - in my hospital bed still - and was able to wheel myself out of the building and onto the street, which was right off I-93. I recognized the building and the area, it was right at the end of Quincy Shore Drive in Quincy where you merge onto 93 heading towards Boston.
The nurse who kidnapped me and a few doctors ran out after me, and were chasing me up the I-93 merge ramp when doctors from the original hospital I was stolen from found me. The evil nurse and doctors were trying to explain that I had escaped, they found me, and they could take good care of me… completely lying to these other, good doctors! The evil ones were trying to act like they were good guys, like they weren’t running all these corrupt, dark projects inside their building, and like they should hold on to me. I was trying to convince the real, good doctors that these guys were lying, that they were really evil and were running all these experiments inside the building, but nobody believed me. They thought I was crazy - delusional - and making these stories up to appear more significant than they were, but I was telling the truth!! This theme would resemble my “truth seeking” phase years later, where I was sharing with my family all the corruption and hard truths hidden behind illusions in modern society, and they didn’t believe me, thinking I was a little crazy and delusional after my accident.
In the dream, the good doctors were able to take me away from these evil people and back to the hospital, loading me into an ambulance and acting like I was very delusional, which I remember made me very sad in the dream. I felt so misunderstood, yet relieved that I was not falling prey to these evil people, even if those around me didn’t believe me. The indigenous woman and warrior man returned again, and shot the green pill down my throat, and I was ushered into another dream.
In this next dream, I was wrapped in a white cotton blanket, very tightly swaddled like a baby. I was in the back of a cart being peddled by an older man over sand dunes on a beach. Suddenly, many of my family members were surrounding the cart, including my dad - whom I hadn’t seen or spoken to in 2 whole years. He was speaking to me, and I still remember exactly what he said - “Sara Murray! You brought the whole family back together! I’m here, Grammie’s here, Aunt Nancy is here, we’re all here!!” I remember looking around and seeing people from my mom’s side, my dad’s side… all these people together who hadn’t seen each other in 2 years, and who would never be in one room together, because my father wasn’t speaking to anyone in the family and wouldn’t be caught dead in a room with my mother.
I was being peddled along the beach up to a house near the shore, with my family still all around the cart walking slowly alongside me. I then knew we were on Lynn beach, which was interesting because Lynn beach has 0 sand dunes and is quite nasty, but I knew it was Lynn beach in the dream. I was peddled up to the house, where my dad and other family members helped me into the porch of this house. Once we were on the porch, the pressure of the room changed drastically for some reason, I remember feeling similar to how you feel when a plane is taking off. A nurse came to the door and was helping me into the house, which was very vintage and regal inside with beautiful rugs, vintage wooden furniture and cool, outdated wallpaper. I was brought up some stairs into a bedroom, where I was placed in a bed and left alone.
The bed was right next to a window, and some sand was coming in the windows because even though we went up some stairs the window was at ground level. Dream logic. At one point a few minutes later, there were some sneaky teenagers smoking weed outside my window and there was a lot of commotion outside because there were fireworks on the beach or something like that. I remember these teenagers were annoying me, even though I thought it was funny they were smoking weed.
Then, inside the house and downstairs, a dinner party began. I remember the house was “double booked” with me and this party, and the party guests were not happy about that but continued with their party anyway. They were a bunch of rich, snobby, stuck up white people dressed in very expensive clothes and fine jewelry. They were being very rude to me, and I remember feeling very out of place and unwanted, which is how I felt living in Hamilton with the very stuck up, elitist culture of that town. They went on with their dinner party, and the dream transitioned into another, which is one of the last dreams I remember. There were other shorter dreams and interactions with the indigenous man and woman that I slightly remember, but I don’t remember enough details to describe.
In the second to last dream, I was in me and Sam's room in Hingham. It was day time, and all of our friends were in our room looking very upset and somber. I was trying to talk to them, but nobody could see me and I didn’t know why, which was very frustrating to me. I kept asking myself why are they ignoring me? Why can’t they hear me? I was trying to get their attention but nothing was working. I saw a painting on the floor in the room, which one of our friend’s actually painted in real life and brought over to Sam’s parents at that time.
The dream environment then changed slightly - suddenly it was night time, the friends were gone, and I was out in the dining room area of the apartment. There were candles lit everywhere, and everyone was dressed in black, being very quiet and sad like our friends were. I remember being a little overwhelmed by the vibes in the house, which were very heavy and somber. Then a woman and her daughter, both with blonde hair, came out of the bedroom, shut the door, and came up to me. The daughter was around my age, and the woman was probably in her 50s. They very gently and politely put their hands on my shoulders, and guided me out of the apartment. They did not drag me, force me, or say anything to get me to leave - they just placed their hands on each side of me, and energetically I knew to go with them. They didn’t say anything at all the whole time I was interacting with them.
We exited the apartment and entered into an elevator, which didn’t exist in our real life apartment but did in this dream. I remember they didn’t say anything to me this entire time, but there was some slight telepathic communication and I could feel “vibes” around me. We went up a few floors in the elevator, and stepped out onto the top floor. I began feeling light headed the second we left the elevator, following them up to an apartment door a few feet from the elevator doors. They opened the door and started to go in - at this point I was very light headed, on the verge of passing out, which I explained to them as they were opening the door. I said I wasn’t feeling well and was going to go back, to which they smiled and nodded, saying goodbye in a way, and then they disappeared into the apartment. I turned and went back in the elevator, and layed down due to being so lightheaded. The doors closed, and I layed there passing out on the ground.
I somehow was able to push the emergency button on the elevator control panel. All I could do was lay there and wait for help to arrive. The fire department came, and for some reason they cut the elevator out of the building to get me out. Dream things, idk man. After cutting the elevator out they left it facing up in the street, right next to the leasing office for the apartment complex. I never saw any of the firefighters or workers helping to get me out, the elevator was just placed face up and then everyone was gone. The doors opened, and I remember looking up at the dark, cloudy sky out of the elevator door, trying to get my phone out of my pocket.
It started to rain - I remember feeling the rain drops hitting my face in the dream. I was trying to text Sam, when the rain picked up and washed my phone out of my hands and away from the elevator, floating away in a sort of river that formed because of the rain. This has always been symbolic of my losing connection with Sam, with the rain representing tears as our souls went our separate ways once and for all. I remember panicking because I couldn’t text him, trying to get my phone back as it was washing away forever. I was so sad - I still remember the grief and distress I felt as my phone slipped out of my fingers and was washed away. I remember how frantically I was trying to get up and out of the elevator to get my phone, but the mini river washed it away quickly. I felt such despair as my communication with Sam, at least my human ways of communicating with him, were coming to a permanent end.
Then, a being appeared over me, whom I knew as “Jacy” - this was a real life person, however I don’t know who this being in the dream actually was, because Jacy was the name of the real life apartment manager who worked in the leasing office where we lived and I do not think it was actually her in the dream. I’ve spoken to mediums about this coma dream, and a few have said it could be the spirit of Jesus who came to me - introducing himself as J.C., which sounds similar to Jacy, so as to not stir any reactions I could have had if I knew Jesus himself was in front of me. When the being appeared over me, I just knew who they were - Jacy - they did not formally introduce themselves or say “hey Sara, I’m Jacy.” Much like the other spirit interactions in these coma dreams, there was a bit of a telepathic introduction here.
Jacy stood over me, and appeared very much as androgynous - I couldn’t see their face, and couldn’t make out distinct features, and they weren’t fully female or male. They appeared to be in business professional clothes, much like “Jacy” in real life would wear, so maybe my subconscious used the character Jacy to symbolize an authority figure of some kind. Maybe it was Jesus Christ, appearing as someone who I revered as an authority so I wouldn’t be intimidated or frightened, so I was familiar with the great being presiding over me. I remember this great being standing over me as I was laying in this open elevator that was facing the sky, and seeing the rain falling all around them but not being able to make out a face.
The being then began speaking to me - they said “it’s time to go back to the hospital, you have work to do”... to which I replied, quite shocked and astounded, “I’m not going back there! I just got here.”
Jacy, or J.C., then replied “it’s time to go back. You have work to do.”
I said “but I just got here, I don’t want to go back there…” but nothing I said could stop me from journeying back to my body in the hospital, because I had work to do according to this spiritual being.
Then, in my very last dream, I was laying in a hospital bed in an old, decrepit hospital hallway, waiting for my mom to show up to take me home. I felt much more “dense” in this dream, feeling more like I was in a body being anchored by gravity, compared to the other dreams where I was more floaty, etheric, flying around in the sky and not being very aware of the density of my body. These pressure changes accompanied a few of these later coma dreams, and I feel like they represent my soul infusing back into the density of my physical body as my coma was coming to an end.
My mom and her friend Ashley showed up in this last dream to take me home. When they arrived, we were taken to a back room at the end of this hallway, where there were a bunch of Mexican people sitting around on cases of beer, drinking beer. Not trying to be racist - they were literally a bunch of small Mexican men who barely spoke English. Anyway, we went in the room and sat on the couch, and were surrounded by tall stacks of cases of beer, and different brands of cases scattered around the floor, which some of the men were sitting on. My mom and Ashley started drinking with these men, who were feeding them beer and trying to get them drunk. I kept trying to get my mom’s attention, and to tell her the men were trying to get them drunk, but she kept just getting annoyed with me and telling me to be quiet.
I was wearing a jean jacket in the dream, which was very tight and rigid on my arms, so I kept trying to take it off. I remember being so annoyed that I couldn’t bend my arms normally because of the damn jean jacket, and I kept trying to pull it off, but the nurses wouldn’t let me. All the nurses in this back room with us were trying to get me to keep it on, pulling this “jean jacket” back on and telling me I had to keep it on for some reason. In real life, in the real hospital, when I first woke up from my coma I kept trying to pull the bandages on my arms off - exactly like I was doing in this last “dream” with the jean jacket - and kept trying to remove the burn vest on my shoulders and chest. I believe my last true coma dream was when Jacy was telling me it was time to go back to the hospital, and this last dream in the back room with the men was while I was coming out of the coma, half awake half unconscious.
In this last dream, my mom and these men were partying, drinking a lot, listening to music and watching tv. I kept trying to tell the nurses they were drinking, which wasn’t allowed in this coma dream hospital even though there were cases of beer everywhere, but the nurses didn’t believe me and kept just putting this damn jean jacket back on me. I remember I was very nervous, and very overwhelmed by my mom being drunk, acting out and partying, so I was scared to go home with her. This was actually very foreshadowing to what wound up happening when I went home from the hospital months later, because my mom had started drinking heavily when I was in the hospital, and it was a very rough few years as she was engulfed in drinking and partying.
When I woke up in the hospital, in real life, the first thing I said to the nurses was “get my shoes, I’m going home”... silly Sara, you weren’t going anywhere for a long time. My inner adventurer and warrior hated being confined to anything or trapped, so the second I was conscious, it didn’t matter if I was bandaged head to toe, I wanted my shoes so I could go the heck home, wherever that was. I have heard that I specifically said “get my shoes, I’m going home to the place by the water,” which could have meant Sam’s apartment in the Shipyard that was next to the ocean, my mom’s house that was on the Saugus River, or another world, who knows. All I knew was that I wanted my shoes so I could go home.
There were many prophetic unfoldings throughout these dreams, things that were not fully revealed until months, even years later at times. That vintage, regal house I was in for that one dream with the snobby white people? That exact house, on Lynn beach, wound up being the place my friend Kristen got her wisdom teeth out years later, and I was there with her. I wound up sleeping late the day she got them out, and when I woke up I texted her saying I had a crazy dream… that I saw her wake up from the anesthesia, saw her dentist helping her down the stairs slowly, saw her staring at me all confused like, and saw her moving things around on a table all silly like as she was still high on anesthesia. When I told her this, she went to her mom and asked what she was like on the anesthesia… her mom replied “well you woke up very confused, kept moving things around on the table for no reason, the dentist had to help you down the stairs, and you kept staring at the wall quite confused.”
Bruh… it wasn’t the wall she was staring at, it was me, in spirit form. Oof.
We didn’t realize it was the same building as my coma dream until the Summer of 2019, about a month after Kristen got her wisdom teeth out. We had gotten ice cream and were walking on Lynn beach, when I noticed a very familiar building - the one from my coma dream on Lynn beach. The moment I noticed it, multidimensional memories washed over me - memories of this coma dream flashed through my consciousness, and I exclaimed “holy shit! THATS where one of my coma dreams happened!!” to which Kristen said that was where she got her wisdom teeth out. I was standing there, in shock and awe, mouth gaping open, wondering what the fuck was life, this was some crazy magical shit.
I will never forget this multidimensional, oofy moment, that truly revealed to me the interconnected, multidimensional nature of all life, and how prophetic our dreams can be.
"I have taken a body to do certain work. And when I finish that work, I will drop that body" - Ram Dass
Thank you SO MUCH for reading this sneak preview of my book, “Remember” - I cannot wait for you to read the rest! There are so many more stories told, deep truths revealed and powerful insights layered on vulnerable shares from my 28 years of life. I’ll be sharing some more excerpts in the coming weeks - stay tuned for more!
Much Love & Namaste,
Sara Murray
ancientesoterica@gmail.com
